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MisfitPolarBear's favorite FMLs
by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
by bpruitt95 / 12/31/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
by nose hurts / 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm / United States / Love
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…