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MisfitPolarBear's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
MisfitPolarBear's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
by divingconfidence / 12/22/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 1:31am / Transportation
by Stupid Drunk / 12/22/2012 at 12:01am / United States / Love
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
by judge not, ye cunt / 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML
by fucking fuck it fucking hurts / 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm / United States / Health
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
by mateyouremental / 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
by Syd / 12/21/2012 at 11:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm / Spain (Canarias) / Animals
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
by ScoozieBooze / 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and… Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp.… Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of…