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About MirrandaFlores : I'm mirranda, I think it's ridiculous how hard it is to get your fml confirmed on here. Rofl.
http://www.myspace.com/mirrandaroseflores
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11686) - you deserved it (2700)
On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48778) - you deserved it (8758)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (372969) - you deserved it (413031)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58667) - you deserved it (5670)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82715) - you deserved it (2929)
On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (116458)
On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (178553) - you deserved it (41135)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (96627) - you deserved it (16766)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob (I don't normally do it because I have a fear of getting squirt in the eye). Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bite the wrong spot and get lemon juice shot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (65192)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78167) - you deserved it (5275)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79056) - you deserved it (3183)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (185867) - you deserved it (32932)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
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