Mirjam

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Offline (the 03/13/2016 at 7:52pm)

Mirjam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 August 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mirjam : Wife & mom

Mirjam's page activity

Visits<b>raceen_101</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 9:56pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 10:38pm<b>razorbacklove</b> - the 01/22/2012 at 1:00pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/07/2011 at 5:52pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 7:36am<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 12:39am<b>01fuckhead10</b> - the 10/10/2011 at 4:26am<b>unicornofthesea</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 4:12pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 2:30pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 9:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:25am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 6:25pm<b>Djibril</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:51am

Mirjam's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Mirjam's badges

Mirjam's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

by anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

by JWhite / 11/24/2011 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

by unlucky / 11/13/2011 at 12:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

by Hair Fail / 10/22/2011 at 11:32am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

by cmd102 / 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

by Unknown / 10/18/2011 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

by BackAndForth / 10/18/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.