Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Milord

Offline (the 05/06/2014 at 3:25pm) | Search for a member

Milord

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10827
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Milord : Ask me :)

Milord's page activity

Visits<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:39am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:43pm<b>midpocket</b> - the 02/07/2012 at 1:24pm<b>sanoj</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 9:11am<b>zoeba</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 9:02am<b>Serial</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 9:58pm

Milord's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Milord's badges

Milord's favorite FMLs

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17419) - you deserved it (8067)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42150) - you deserved it (3470)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (5179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (2224)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (4898)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39274) - you deserved it (2734)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (6080)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

#17826099
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (3382)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12515) - you deserved it (75516)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

#17790312
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39083) - you deserved it (2249)

On 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (60067)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (11587)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: