Milord

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Offline (the 01/19/2016 at 1:18pm)

Milord

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13549
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Milord : Ask me :)

Milord's page activity

Visits<b>johobus28</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 12:06am<b>silentseries</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:58am<b>Fancyman123</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:39am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:43pm<b>midpocket</b> - the 02/07/2012 at 1:24pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:43am<b>sanoj</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 9:11am<b>zoeba</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 9:02am<b>Serial</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 9:58pm

Milord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Milord's badges

Milord's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

by em / 02/05/2011 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

by anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

by frenchboyfriend / 11/13/2010 at 7:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

by Username / 10/25/2010 at 7:03am / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2010 at 11:01am / Work

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love

Today, I met my fiancée's parents for the first time. Her dad was telling me how he's not rich but not poor either. I replied, "Well, as long as you're not a garbage man!" Guess what his profession is. FML

by charlie043 / 09/10/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

by concusion / 08/23/2010 at 5:03am / United States (Texas) / Health