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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39511) - you deserved it (7865)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37521) - you deserved it (2749)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (2155)
On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (5475)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (1500)
On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39873) - you deserved it (2789)
On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (3726)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (11650)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (12657)
On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52477) - you deserved it (5510)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30654) - you deserved it (4560)
On 03/26/2013 at 10:12am - love - by Candycane88 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (19914)
On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (2680)
On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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