MilkshakeSwagger

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Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 11:03pm)

MilkshakeSwagger

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 505
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MilkshakeSwagger's page activity

Visits<b>mollymoe429</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:31pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:03am<b>kayse</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:41pm<b>windell</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:21pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 11:25am<b>suslord</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:27am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:13pm<b>chelene</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>sodapop83</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:37am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:45pm<b>captenawesome</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:53pm<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:34pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:57am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:17pm<b>ChrisDesmorais</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:10pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:54pm<b>BeanCuisine</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:27pm

MilkshakeSwagger's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of MilkshakeSwagger's badges

MilkshakeSwagger's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Idaho) / Kids

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

by munnyfish / 11/07/2009 at 2:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

by tryscal / 07/12/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2009 at 9:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

by cmerr / 03/19/2009 at 3:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

by iamnotfat / 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

by sh33zy / 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

by God hates me / 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy