Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MilkshakeSwagger

Offline (the 12/26/2013 at 1:49am) | Search for a member

MilkshakeSwagger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 123
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MilkshakeSwagger's page activity

Visits<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:03am<b>kayse</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:41pm<b>windell</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:21pm<b>sleepRX</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 11:25am<b>suslord</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 2:27am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:13pm<b>chelene</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>sodapop83</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:03am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:37am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:45pm<b>captenawesome</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:53pm<b>wes870</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:26am<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:34pm<b>JessicaRenee95</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 8:57am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:17pm<b>ChrisDesmorais</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:10pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 8:54pm<b>BeanCuisine</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:27pm

MilkshakeSwagger's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of MilkshakeSwagger's badges

MilkshakeSwagger's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (19873)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53278) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42153) - you deserved it (10949)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10465) - you deserved it (29024)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

#3682423
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (51632)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by tryscal - United States (California)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (8166)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

#1737355
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59855) - you deserved it (14826)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61854) - you deserved it (2689)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

#1415688
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (206335) - you deserved it (11169)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137929) - you deserved it (8544)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
504 comments

I agree, your life sucks (229033) - you deserved it (80543)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know". FML

#12002
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45493) - you deserved it (3831)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by iamnotfat (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35090) - you deserved it (2891)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28082) - you deserved it (7088)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: