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MikaykayUnicorn

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MikaykayUnicorn

47Fucked!

MikaykayUnicornMikaykayUnicorn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3291
  • Number of comments : 300
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 30 posted

About MikaykayUnicorn : For decades, I had my iconic profile picture. And now, I fucked up. Curse you, big thumbs and "delete photo 1" button! Oh well. Time to move on to bigger and better things.
Welcome to the hellish depth of nothing that is my profile. I will be your tour guide.
I'm female, obviously.
You're either going to think I'm 7 years old or 40 years old. I am neither.
We all joined FML because it makes us feel better about ourselves, don't lie. Or you just really like to laugh at other people's pain.
Feel free to message me. It's okay, I won't judge you. (unless you're a pedophile or a murderer or something. Then I might judge you a little bit.) Yes, my username is weird. I was in a weird time. It was all weird. I regret it immensely. When will FML introduce a "change username" option so I can release myself from this hell?

MikaykayUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - yesterday at 4:32pm<b>KayDee29</b> - yesterday at 10:49pm<b>DemonicOtaku101</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 3:45pm<b>Aviator9266</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:33pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:51am<b>3yellowzebras</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 4:31am<b>single_20</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:08am<b>BillieGoat</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:29pm<b>kiki1705</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:50am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:47am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:04am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:22am<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:35pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:30pm<b>wrr124</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:09pm<b>TheKishwan</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:37pm<b>em_the_g</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:27pm

Fucked!<b>Aviator9266</b> - yesterday at 7:33pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:04pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:58pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:46pm<b>LiteralDork</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:18am<b>kirbyivy1994</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:26am<b>interesting33</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 6:39pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:43pm<b>mblaxer36</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:00am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:07am<b>sabby7</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:32pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:15pm<b>YoshiLoveBeans</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:01am<b>emmasparkman148</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:45pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 2:07pm

MikaykayUnicorn's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of MikaykayUnicorn's badges

MikaykayUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

#21491655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:24am - love - by Porche - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
164 comments

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21622) - you deserved it (16128)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (2209)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (1543)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22451) - you deserved it (3761)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3409)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (3433)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52915) - you deserved it (5639)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)



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