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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3004
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 27 posted

About MikaykayUnicorn : For decades, I had my iconic profile picture. And now, I fucked up. Curse you, big thumbs and "delete photo 1" button! Oh well. Time to move on to bigger and better things.
Welcome to the hellish depth of nothing that is my profile. I will be your tour guide.
I'm female, obviously.
You're either going to think I'm 7 years old or 40 years old. I am neither.
We all joined FML because it makes us feel better about ourselves, don't lie. Or you just really like to laugh at other people's pain.
Feel free to message me. It's okay, I won't judge you. (unless you're a pedophile or a murderer or something. Then I might judge you a little bit.) Yes, my username is weird. I was in a weird time. Don't judge me, dammit. I ain't ask for yo criticisms.

MikaykayUnicorn's page activity

Visits<b>player20270</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:28am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:11am<b>randi9090</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:48pm<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:04pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:56am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:04am<b>moldypickles</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:31pm<b>icagoobo</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 6:57pm<b>lyhom</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:34pm<b>manlytarts</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:58am<b>conman531</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>zonlach</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 9:08am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 8:09pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:09pm<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:19pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:12am<b>blackeyeidiot</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:30pm

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:05am<b>manlytarts</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 9:58am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:09am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:38pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:05pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:58pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:38am<b>Stolar2</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:56pm<b>sydmayz24</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:34am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:47am<b>Sullysboo</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:14am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:32pm<b>dropbeatsnotbomb</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:07am<b>Grumpy_Cookiez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:25am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:39am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:13am

MikaykayUnicorn's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of MikaykayUnicorn's badges

MikaykayUnicorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (3907)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:24am - love - by Porche - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (2099)

On 11/05/2015 at 1:52am - love - by Queerbait (woman) - Australia

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML


I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (1365)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (1688)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (5959)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (1653)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (6572)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (15959)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2181)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (1527)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (3692)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29057) - you deserved it (3327)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

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Friday 27 November 2015

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