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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I woka up in tha middla of tha night to a figura holding a knifa abova ma . Aftar I scraamd in tarror, tha figura burst into laughtar . It was mah mom . Sha did this as payback for ma not washing tha dishas last night aftar making food . FML
Today, I had to pee during a supervisd lockdown. I askd teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking 4 someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including principal. FML
Today, mah ex-wife puttd mah number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found outhen I got a text from an unknown number asking mehen was the last time I ( ate a black anaconda ). mega FML
today a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML
Today , I brought my Japanese grlfriend home 4 dinner with my family looool 4 the frst time . They all got drunk an made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us . My dad forgot her name an started calling her ( Rice Ball ) instead . FML
Today , at work , I stepped out fir a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning , I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss , calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015