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Midrash

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Midrash
  • Town/Country : Maplewood, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Midrash : Like to chill with ppl who aren't phony.

Midrash's last visitors

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Midrash's favorite FMLs

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (1474)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (32892)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (30226)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11659) - you deserved it (14160)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (1991)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8228) - you deserved it (28219)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (17032)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49253) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (18078)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (10070)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (1903)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

#17661200
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (15328)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm - love - by inlovewithstupid (woman) - United States (Texas)



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