About MidnightMusic53 : I'm just here for the laughs.
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MidnightMusic53's favorite FMLs
by catbum / 11/09/2016 at 10:54pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Animals
Today, I discovered that you should always check the litter box before vacuuming stray litter outside of it after my cat burst out from the box mid-piss and skittered around the house still pissing after I put the vacuum hose behind the box. FML
by mallyboo / 10/01/2016 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML
by ShameMonkey / 09/27/2016 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML
by drchinky888 / 09/18/2016 at 1:10pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous
by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 9:13pm / Transportation
Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML
by Binkplugged / 07/05/2016 at 2:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by Koko / 04/07/2016 at 12:07pm / Germany (Berlin) / Animals