About MidnightB : I like reading, music, art, and enjoy watching crime shows. I like making new friends, so don't be shy to message me. I don't do nudes, so don't bother asking. Kik? Sure, just ask. :)
MidnightB's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
MidnightB's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
by soembarassed / 03/18/2016 at 2:26pm / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half informed me that he had "accepted" my stomach, even though it didn't conform to his "preference" for a flat stomach. He then added that his acceptance doesn't extend to my "chunky thighs". FML
by chunky monkey / 03/14/2016 at 2:26pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Health
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, my vet prescribed Xanax for my very anxious dog, because he keeps me awake all night whining and pacing. He slept soundly for about an hour, then woke up, threw up all over my carpet, and went right back to whining and pacing. FML
by Grimmerie / 03/07/2016 at 4:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML
by Upset / 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML
by iTried / 01/28/2016 at 7:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
by oliver / 01/27/2016 at 7:02am / United States / Health
by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML
by believe me now?? / 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML
by Garfield / 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…