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MidnightB

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MidnightB
  • Town/Country : Missouri, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 100
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MidnightB : Let's keep this short..

My interests:
• Football
• Boxing
• Skateboarding
• Reading
I'm a bum who travels through time and space to find the perfect pizza slice. It's out there somewhere... Anyways, I seem to have misplaced my pandicorn, would you let me know if you see him? Thanks a lot, that little potato is always running around to places.

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MidnightB's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (9945)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you deserved it (5726)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42191) - you deserved it (4657)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (5615)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47280) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47770) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17844) - you deserved it (1233)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58978) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (2148)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42970) - you deserved it (1615)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (2647)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16863) - you deserved it (2516)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)



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