About MichellinMan : go to www.michelinman.org/tires to receive free tires. brought to you by MichelinMan "the right tire changes everything"
Nah but in all seriousness, I've been here since 2009. This is my second account. I've never put my old account in my info, I just wanted to keep it secret.
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Socialite
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26072) - you deserved it (1995) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2416)
On 02/04/2012 at 9:52am - love - by ac-hoo (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (3078)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (3078)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (1825)
On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5748) - you deserved it (18022)
On 01/25/2012 at 10:54am - health - by lol - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (24789)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (6985)
On 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm - health - by ohforcheese - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (4467)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15514) - you deserved it (11962)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by facepalmface (man) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (7677)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (26152)
On 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by gtfb1993 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (2767)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (1829)
On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28213) - you deserved it (6235)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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