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MichellinMan's favorite FMLs
by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML
by SApprentice / 12/04/2012 at 2:10am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by didntknowyoucouldbreakit / 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML
by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work
by Can't Win / 09/09/2012 at 11:01am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 2:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by needtoscratch / 09/05/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to…