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About MichellinMan : go to www.michelinman.org/tires to receive free tires. brought to you by MichelinMan "the right tire changes everything"
I've been here since 2009. This is my second account. I've never put my old account in my info, I just wanted to keep it secret. It's kind of funny watching this site turn from funny and laughing at/with the poster, to people complaining about other commenter's grammar and have uber sympathy for the poster. Meh, that's just what it feels like. Boobs.
I'm not stuck up when it comes to what your comment says. If it's any bit relevant to the FML and the grammar is at least eligible, then chances are I'm cool with you. Just don't be mean to me, I'll fucking throw mother fucking monster truck tires at you.
I've stopped commenting as much, or I'd have over a thousand comments by now. That's because if your comment isn't hilarious or has college essay grade grammar, it's going to get down voted.
FUCK! THEY PUT LIMITS ON THE DESCRIPTIONS NOW! BOOOOOO!
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Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML
Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014