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About MichellinMan : go to www.michelinman.org/tires to receive free tires. brought to you by MichelinMan "the right tire changes everything"
I've been here since 2009. This is my second account. I've never put my old account in my info, I just wanted to keep it secret. It's kind of funny watching this site turn from funny and laughing at/with the poster, to people complaining about other commenter's grammar and have uber sympathy for the poster. Meh, that's just what it feels like. Boobs.
I'm not stuck up when it comes to what your comment says. If it's any bit relevant to the FML and the grammar is at least eligible, then chances are I'm cool with you. Just don't be mean to me, I'll fucking throw mother fucking monster truck tires at you.
I've stopped commenting as much, or I'd have over a thousand comments by now. That's because if your comment isn't hilarious or has college essay grade grammar, it's going to get down voted.
FUCK! THEY PUT LIMITS ON THE DESCRIPTIONS NOW! BOOOOOO!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML
Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML
Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML
Friday 18 April 2014