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Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you totally deserved it (2612)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by unknown - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was at my girlfriends house with just me and her. Things began to get heated and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you totally deserved it (45388)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to become a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you totally deserved it (1812)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62440) - you totally deserved it (4239)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14254) - you totally deserved it (30301)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by drurbanXVII (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51740) - you totally deserved it (15972)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50279) - you totally deserved it (17581)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:38am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48022) - you totally deserved it (1901)
On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you totally deserved it (56384)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220684) - you totally deserved it (244549)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60098) - you totally deserved it (8820)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136319) - you totally deserved it (31204)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
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