Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MichaelDeSanta

Online | Search for a member

MichaelDeSanta

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MichaelDeSanta's page activity

Visits<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:17am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:21am<b>Lacalema</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:40am<b>Ari3l</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ajahchenae</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 7:01am<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:18am<b>mattw1456</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:03pm<b>nonsensical</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:29pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 11:32am<b>risher01</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:35am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:22am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:09am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:51am<b>jesterinperil</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:37am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:32am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:56am<b>duckmeist3r</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:24am<b>Bleublancrouge</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:28am

Fucked!<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 1:09pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:08am<b>W31rdG1rl</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:53pm<b>koolkool994</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:37pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:23am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:38am

MichaelDeSanta's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MichaelDeSanta's badges

MichaelDeSanta's favorite FMLs

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

#21451172
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (6833)

On 08/03/2015 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ahhh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (32611)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38018) - you deserved it (4834)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26190) - you deserved it (48053)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46100) - you deserved it (4762)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66853) - you deserved it (9701)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (14100)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

#16575408
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:50am - work - by aeghw1s - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (25372)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: