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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MichaelDeSanta's page activity

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Fucked!<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:23am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 9:38am

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MichaelDeSanta's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally came across a video of my parents on an amateur porn site. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (4318)

On 09/14/2015 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Motherf*cker - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (6334)

On 08/03/2015 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ahhh - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (32013)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (5458)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (4788)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25912) - you deserved it (47529)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML


I agree, your life sucks (66031) - you deserved it (9604)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (13899)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39439) - you deserved it (24362)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37759) - you deserved it (5371)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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