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MichaelDeSanta

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MichaelDeSanta

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 181
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MichaelDeSanta's page activity

Visits<b>soccerguy2o1</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Kyle1dc</b> - 10 hours ago<b>ChristianH39</b> - 10 hours ago<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:06pm<b>BFons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:09pm<b>ball_so_hard</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:07am<b>BSnapZ</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:26pm<b>acciofrenchhorn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:06pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:58am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:55am<b>Kaitlin810</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:17am<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:42am<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:09am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:05am<b>mattb77</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:56am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:46am<b>jad0016</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:45pm<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:20am

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MichaelDeSanta's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13327) - you deserved it (25745)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42476) - you deserved it (4390)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59110) - you deserved it (8426)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (13061)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37501) - you deserved it (23390)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (17193)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76703) - you deserved it (23373)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123170) - you deserved it (9254)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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