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MiPiace's favorite FMLs
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
by idontevenlikehamsters / 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML
by really? / 03/20/2013 at 12:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2013 at 10:52pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
by seriously! / 03/19/2013 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by chickenmcnuggetgirl / 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Meath) / Intimacy
by just physical / 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we… Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I… Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be…