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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (1777)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11163) - you deserved it (16223)
On 12/11/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (36838)
Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (2340)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (8366)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (1906)
On 07/26/2010 at 12:22am - work - by anon - United States
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42946) - you deserved it (4389)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (2348)
On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (1331)
On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10735) - you deserved it (18425)
On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10216) - you deserved it (1658)
On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (3742)
On 03/11/2010 at 7:16am - love - by Lonely (woman) - New Zealand
Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated-looking my chest has become and how she only wants to help. Except that I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25599) - you deserved it (1431)
On 03/09/2010 at 3:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20378) - you deserved it (1542)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (7330) - you deserved it (21643)
On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States
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