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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Meta_Knight's favorite FMLs
by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML
by ugh / 01/19/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
by roberto / 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Intimacy
by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out." FML
by peanuts / 07/03/2010 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Animals
by DaddyZ / 06/27/2010 at 9:30am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
by lendahandmanda / 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…