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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Meta_Knight's favorite FMLs
Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML
by Lesser / 02/17/2013 at 3:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
by ShadowReaper101 / 12/29/2012 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
by TaffyMichele / 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm / United States (California) / Love
by steve / 09/05/2012 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by iliveintexas / 09/01/2012 at 10:09am / United States (Texas) / Health
by chrisbravo / 08/23/2012 at 2:54am / United States / Money
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
by Jenna / 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…