Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Merylwen

Search for a member

Merylwen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1197
  • Number of comments : 247
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Merylwen's page activity

Visits<b>fractured_</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:31am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:06pm<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:25am<b>MrABomb</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:03am<b>rodeo302</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:37am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:08am<b>klovemachine</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:50am<b>MasonDude</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:09pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:59pm<b>Ahill84</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:51am<b>ckcknight</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:29am<b>Mickwashere</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 10:37pm<b>PapaSmash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:47pm<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:34pm<b>kellytsiou</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:48pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:44pm<b>ShelbyCobra3472</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:57am<b>jmrgf</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:26am

Merylwen's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Merylwen's badges

Merylwen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (6969)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (6121)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50396) - you deserved it (4170)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62068) - you deserved it (4890)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52374) - you deserved it (9086)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (3232)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (3444)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32461) - you deserved it (25168)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79964) - you deserved it (24551)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

#20418722
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37504) - you deserved it (12420)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by selfishsexysanta (woman) - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: