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Merridew

Offline (the 02/05/2015 at 1:44pm) | Search for a member

Merridew

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Merridew's page activity

Visits<b>samsam23t</b> - 20 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:56am<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:04am<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:05pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:24pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:33pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 11:17am<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:09am<b>Boopycat</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:40pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:51am<b>candyandrainbows</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:19am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:06pm<b>lior778</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Rynoozzy</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:26am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:11am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:38am

Fucked!<b>lior778</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:06am

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Merridew's badges

Merridew's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (29466)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (3223)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34965) - you deserved it (2813)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (7801)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (37809)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (3838)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (28773)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46180) - you deserved it (3651)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45579) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56038) - you deserved it (9589)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43769) - you deserved it (6879)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (4355)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)



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