Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Merridew

Online | Search for a member

Merridew

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Merridew's page activity

Visits<b>Boopycat</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:40pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:51am<b>candyandrainbows</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:19am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:06pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:04am<b>lior778</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Rynoozzy</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 12:40pm<b>Loomunati</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:26am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:11am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:38am<b>Samuri24</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:30am<b>salamander461</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:12am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:46pm<b>swharley</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:12am<b>iiMichy</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:28pm<b>BubbleGrunge</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:11pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:59pm<b>xzxXxzx</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:00pm

Liked!<b>lior778</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:06am

Merridew's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Merridew's badges

Merridew's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (19376)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (2074)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (3566)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (28019)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45877) - you deserved it (3628)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44027) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53133) - you deserved it (9094)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41125) - you deserved it (6553)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (4259)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27146) - you deserved it (12848)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25379) - you deserved it (1837)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40224) - you deserved it (9881)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (48467)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63922) - you deserved it (9096)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: