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Mercadian

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Mercadian
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 119
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Mercadian's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41959) - you deserved it (2455)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (8651)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (27697)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42795) - you deserved it (3404)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45269) - you deserved it (11007)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (59844)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (4925)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (6061)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (3456)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44191) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (4393)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (7569)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38806) - you deserved it (13104)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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