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Melodija

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Melodija

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1315
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Melodija's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Ltturner234</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:51am<b>kimberthekat</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:53pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:57pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:23pm<b>KevenV</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:22am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:11pm<b>N605</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SilverFalchion</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rachelekolb</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:59pm<b>samsam901</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:26pm<b>AdrianF9</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:49am<b>julaylay99</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:48pm<b>MrCareless</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:47am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:52am<b>The_9th_Doctor</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 1:18pm

Melodija's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Melodija's badges

Melodija's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (1797)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (3321)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (2434)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (10248)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (3572)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32318) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (9484)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42327) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (13736)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (37961)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (6949)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49125) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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