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Melodija

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Melodija

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Melodija's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Ltturner234</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:51am<b>kimberthekat</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:53pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:57pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:23pm<b>KevenV</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:22am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:11pm<b>N605</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:07pm<b>SilverFalchion</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:36pm<b>rachelekolb</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 9:59pm<b>samsam901</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:26pm<b>AdrianF9</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:49am<b>julaylay99</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 8:48pm<b>MrCareless</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 1:47am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 5:52am<b>The_9th_Doctor</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 1:18pm

Melodija's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Melodija's badges

Melodija's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (11096)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (37234)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42717) - you deserved it (6725)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47922) - you deserved it (20869)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51645) - you deserved it (5972)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35278) - you deserved it (23540)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46165) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (3839)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (4444)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55629) - you deserved it (7144)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (7071)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41715) - you deserved it (14540)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML

#21176835
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45452) - you deserved it (8965)

On 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm - misc - by FMeeee (woman) - Portugal (Aveiro)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52984) - you deserved it (8947)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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