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Melix

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Melix

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2020
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Melix : Raggedy man, goodnight.

Kidneys! I have new kidneys! I don't like the color.

Melix's page activity

Visits<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:31am<b>mollypop35</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:50pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Machified</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:51am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:22pm<b>demi94</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:25pm<b>supetwholockian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:37pm<b>sydspears3</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:07am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:00pm<b>DansDragon</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:42am<b>NothernNightmare</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:03pm<b>hayleyy_silver</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:06pm<b>shea300</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 11:24am<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:41am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:12pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Owlnation99</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:52pm<b>doesntmatterx</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:07am

Liked!<b>supetwholockian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:38pm<b>claudia19801811</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:48pm<b>yaybutter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:18am

Melix's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Melix's badges

Melix's favorite FMLs

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57015) - you deserved it (16120)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79516) - you deserved it (7238)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43414) - you deserved it (3956)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48622) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76282) - you deserved it (17337)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (64368) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68956) - you deserved it (6559)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (10151)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (3694)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

#20718780
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57032) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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