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Melix

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Melix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1497
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Melix : Raggedy man, goodnight.

Kidneys! I have new kidneys! I don't like the color.

Melix's page activity

Visits<b>Sublimeguy82</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:44pm<b>davered89</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:52pm<b>jedi_master24</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:51pm<b>JustBeingMe99</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:32am<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:39pm<b>atrandom</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:57pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:29pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:29pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:50am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:40am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:06am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:20am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:54am<b>topalov</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:54pm<b>bubblyyx3</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:29pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:49pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:13am

Melix's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Melix's badges

Melix's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (7703)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48865) - you deserved it (6175)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59202) - you deserved it (5416)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44079) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

#20827009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (5092)

On 08/08/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by go choke on a gonad (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (25274)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51674) - you deserved it (11163)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59167) - you deserved it (6540)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46540) - you deserved it (3359)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (4801)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64788) - you deserved it (6576)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58957) - you deserved it (3911)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (26811)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (2899)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47595) - you deserved it (2554)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)



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