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Melaniee

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Melaniee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3625
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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Melaniee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (7508)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (9351)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

#12431823
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (2632)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was supposed to take a test, but the professor didn't have it ready because he went to a concert last night. I sold my own tickets to that very concert in order to study for the test. FML

#12411757
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (3934)

On 08/09/2010 at 1:44pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (12905)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (16720)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

#12376423
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (44019)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

#12368277
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (6241)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

#12334869
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (3894)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

#12334869
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27460) - you deserved it (3894)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37694) - you deserved it (3216)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)



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