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Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you totally deserved it (38696)
On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistancy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you totally deserved it (1926)
On 08/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by deadmedia (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36035) - you totally deserved it (2373)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got my first kiss. I'm 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81761) - you totally deserved it (15959)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by bathtime_ (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64630) - you totally deserved it (2032)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35854) - you totally deserved it (1139)
On 07/31/2009 at 4:03am - love - by FreakedOut (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8523) - you totally deserved it (25152)
On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you totally deserved it (1854) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38350) - you totally deserved it (5392)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you totally deserved it (10217)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you totally deserved it (8959)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50167) - you totally deserved it (4228)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36936) - you totally deserved it (16178)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13034) - you totally deserved it (49532)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158811) - you totally deserved it (10776)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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