Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Megan_xox

Offline (yesterday at 4:28am) | Search for a member

Megan_xox

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1046
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Megan_xox : Probably sleeping

Megan_xox's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - yesterday at 1:27pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:39pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:36am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:31am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:23am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 3:34am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:17am<b>RavenCent</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:35am<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:30pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:24am<b>luke_preston</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:10pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:58pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:11am<b>wang33334</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:37am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:59am

Liked!<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:34am

Megan_xox's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Megan_xox's badges

Megan_xox's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (2869)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (9900)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (2353)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (1997)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (48573)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

#21277941
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (4086)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30011) - you deserved it (2595)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37990) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (4816)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30538) - you deserved it (17791)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (5030)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: