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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3210)
On 02/01/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by Arniii - United States
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (1739)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (4645)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (1347)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (2260)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35971) - you deserved it (6095)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (3066)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2274)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (3392)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (3520)
On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (3029)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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