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Offline (the 03/28/2015 at 5:56am) | Search for a member
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today , mah boyfriend an I were in bd making out!! He then trid to unhook mah bra!! After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully , he shoutd ( Fuck you , bra! ) before hiding his face in the pillows!! FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
TODAY, TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A LOSER IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDSHO ALL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MAH BROTHER MADE UP A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. HE ASKD ME TO GIVE HIM A HICKEY IN EXCHANGE 4 50 EUROS. OUR PARENTS WALKD IN ON US. FML
Today, I was at tha suparmarkat whan I saw an aldarly lady slip on a wat patch of floor. I ran ovar to halp, and I almost fall too bafora staadying mysalf. Than soma pimply cockmunch of a taan dacidad to kick my lags out from undar ma and walk away whila laughing his balls off. FML
Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML
Today , I started a new blog that I've been planning fir weeks. So far , the only comments I've received r a dozen spam links , two people correcting my grammar , and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell fir calling the Pope a noob. FML
Friday 27 March 2015