Mean_Mr_Mustard

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Mean_Mr_Mustard

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2228
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Mean_Mr_Mustard : I do not have a list of favorite brethren FML'ers, favorite music, things I hate about fellow gentlefolk, and I do not loovve you. I don't even know you and if I do know you then I don't know that I know you and I still probably don't love you.

I drive like a grandma, I have used tissues in my coat pockets from god only knows when, I snort when I laugh really hard, I am a narcissist, I have way too many phobia's to keep track, probably a mental illness or two, I have detailed conversations with myself in my head and have been known to act out argument I am having with myself from time to time, I am contemplating becoming a buddhist but I am not sure that I am ready for that type of a commitment just yet, I dislike to an extreme amount how homosapiens have treated this wonderland we call home, I am that girl that says "did you know....." way too much, and incase you were wondering I do in fact piss excellent. Basically if I was of the male population I would never get laid, but I am female and appealing to the retina's.

This is niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice....

Mean_Mr_Mustard's page activity

Visits<b>withered</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:25am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 10:03pm<b>brattiegrl93</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:38pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:13am<b>Bend0n</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:22pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:19am<b>hannakin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 12:06am<b>grace12800</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:53pm<b>srudez</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:55pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>pyrp9998</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:11am<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:03am<b>chookiemhonster</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:36pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>footballfan666</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:37pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:40pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:19am

Mean_Mr_Mustard's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

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Mean_Mr_Mustard's favorite FMLs

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

by grubbieduc / 10/06/2011 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

by Lyingg / 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm / United States / Love

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

by PghSportsNation / 09/02/2011 at 10:56am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

by rochellamaya / 09/02/2011 at 8:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

by rochellamaya / 09/02/2011 at 8:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

by True Story / 08/29/2011 at 8:46am / Canada / Love

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

by James / 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

by LuckySperm / 08/12/2011 at 9:14am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Kids

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy