Mean_Mr_Mustard

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Mean_Mr_Mustard

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2237
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Mean_Mr_Mustard : I do not have a list of favorite brethren FML'ers, favorite music, things I hate about fellow gentlefolk, and I do not loovve you. I don't even know you and if I do know you then I don't know that I know you and I still probably don't love you.

I drive like a grandma, I have used tissues in my coat pockets from god only knows when, I snort when I laugh really hard, I am a narcissist, I have way too many phobia's to keep track, probably a mental illness or two, I have detailed conversations with myself in my head and have been known to act out argument I am having with myself from time to time, I am contemplating becoming a buddhist but I am not sure that I am ready for that type of a commitment just yet, I dislike to an extreme amount how homosapiens have treated this wonderland we call home, I am that girl that says "did you know....." way too much, and incase you were wondering I do in fact piss excellent. Basically if I was of the male population I would never get laid, but I am female and appealing to the retina's.

This is niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice....

Mean_Mr_Mustard's page activity

Visits<b>withered</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:25am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:34pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 10:03pm<b>brattiegrl93</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:38pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:13am<b>Bend0n</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 1:22pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:41pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:19am<b>hannakin</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 12:06am<b>grace12800</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 2:53pm<b>srudez</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:55pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>pyrp9998</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:11am<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:03am<b>chookiemhonster</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 3:36pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>footballfan666</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:37pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:40pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:06pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:19am

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Mean_Mr_Mustard's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

by Gabby / 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

by B / 02/03/2012 at 8:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

by manhandled / 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

by NoMoreMeters / 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

by ShitHappens / 10/24/2011 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML

by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

by drunkboysgf / 10/21/2011 at 3:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML

by hatetodisappoint / 10/21/2011 at 2:32am / United States / Love