About MeLuvBewbs : If you are reading this, please leave. I'm pregnant and busy filling up my shot glasses. I have to go to Karma later and Jersey turnpike the shit outta my cuca. Jersey shore bitches!
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MeLuvBewbs's favorite FMLs
Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
by joe / 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML
by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
by depressedpreggo / 11/18/2012 at 6:00am / United States (Nevada) / Health
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
by mfischer / 11/16/2012 at 4:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML
by Superman / 11/15/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by racking-leaves / 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
by hclagopus / 11/14/2012 at 6:39am / Norway / Geek
by fuzz94 / 11/14/2012 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was on an adult-orientated website when my mother entered the room. I closed the webpage… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…