About MeLuvBewbs : If you are reading this, please leave. I'm pregnant and busy filling up my shot glasses. I have to go to Karma later and Jersey turnpike the shit outta my cuca. Jersey shore bitches!
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MeLuvBewbs's favorite FMLs
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
by catlover / 12/13/2012 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML
by meranda_johnson / 12/13/2012 at 3:58am / United States / Health
Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML
by ShadowReiku / 12/13/2012 at 3:39am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health
by Hit-and-Run / 12/13/2012 at 3:01am / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Love
Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML
by McFizzy321 / 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Florida) / Holidays
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML
by dumbassgrad / 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Renzy / 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm / Kids
Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
by dino0123 / 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2012 at 10:05am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
by skinnybitch / 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
by roommateprobssss:( / 12/11/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to… Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers… Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well…