About MeLuvBewbs : If you are reading this, please leave. I'm pregnant and busy filling up my shot glasses. I have to go to Karma later and Jersey turnpike the shit outta my cuca. Jersey shore bitches!
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MeLuvBewbs's favorite FMLs
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by teejayrn / 12/15/2012 at 6:48am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
by elphi / 12/15/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
by mandybar15 / 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ToughTitties / 12/14/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
by Ethan_18 / 12/14/2012 at 12:10am / United States / Kids
by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money
Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML
by surrounded by dumbfucks / 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek
Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML
by Katie / 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Work
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone / 12/13/2012 at 9:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he… Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at… Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was…