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McFail
  • Town/Country : New York City, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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McFail's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52313) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (2373)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

#17227486
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (5127)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35882) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, my mom finally admitted to me that ever since I was a child, she thought I was autistic, but was always too lazy to take me to the doctors and get me checked out. FML

#17199829
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (2087)

On 07/21/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11052) - you deserved it (60032)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14459) - you deserved it (45631)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me I should think about quitting school. She explained that the reason was because she didn't want me to be more successful than my older sisters. FML

#4862674
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (1861)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Kitty_Gem (woman) - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (18831)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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