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Maybelline008

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Maybelline008
  • Town/Country : Florida , United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Maybelline008 : Hey you! Yeah, you! Hi!

Okay, enough perkiness for one summary.

I am addicted to FML. I read it every morning along with the morning newspaper. Yes, I enjoy reading the newspaper.... I rarely comment. Sometimes, I want to comment but I stop myself because I do not tolerate the idiocy that visits the website on a regular basis.

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Maybelline008's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5597) - you deserved it (26971)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1228)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1200)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (1653)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4529) - you deserved it (51560)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (5928)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (5380)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

#19601147
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18172) - you deserved it (7248)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31229) - you deserved it (2512)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (5979)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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