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Maxus1

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Maxus1

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  • Number of visits : 2578
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Maxus1's page activity

Visits<b>tayymeds</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:49pm<b>iamtheinsomniac</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 7:01pm

Maxus1's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Maxus1's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (5447)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (3440)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (9464)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (5117)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (4680)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (6740)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (10077)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (16273)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (5670)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42305) - you deserved it (13722)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47974) - you deserved it (7701)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (8847)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (14235)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (25450)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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