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MaximumBeat

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MaximumBeat

2Liked!

MaximumBeatMaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>FitFriday</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:58pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:45pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:04pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:10pm<b>coleh1998</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:30am<b>Lars93</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:12pm<b>hare</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:05pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:03pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:21pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:23pm<b>shanebob</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:48pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:01pm

Liked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51626) - you deserved it (6314)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49228) - you deserved it (5465)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55764) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62252) - you deserved it (5907)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (5265)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38360) - you deserved it (4164)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48823) - you deserved it (5874)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (2085)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

#20029882
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (4840)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (6735)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (1971)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (6917)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13647) - you deserved it (42550)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

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