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MaximumBeat

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MaximumBeat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 206
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:59am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:24am<b>animalover9</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:14pm<b>maggieisbatman</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:45pm<b>oh_marie_me</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:22am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:56pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:53am<b>HanselF</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Keattles</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:01am

Liked!<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

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MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61962) - you deserved it (5894)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (5177)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48583) - you deserved it (5853)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2020)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (1919)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (6801)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (41209)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15098) - you deserved it (31268)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML

#16322512
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by nr1234 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (4485)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (6284)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

#3831265
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (7509)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by ohman (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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