MaximumBeat

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:07am)

MaximumBeat

10Fucked!

MaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1551
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 9:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 3:13pm<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:23am<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:50pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:41pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:18am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:23am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:24am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:19pm<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:10pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:39pm<b>liamb1222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:10pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:31pm<b>hotdaddy15</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:16pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:39am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:13am<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:25am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:35pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:15am<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:23pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:46am<b>Cape9093</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:28am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

by homeless / 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm / Miscellaneous

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

by jsyn / 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

by Kay / 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Intimacy