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MaximumBeat

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MaximumBeat

2Liked!

MaximumBeatMaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 620
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:25pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 3:58pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:10pm<b>coleh1998</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:30am<b>Lars93</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:12pm<b>hare</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:05pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:03pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:21pm<b>airborneranger7</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:23pm<b>shanebob</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:48pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:01pm

Liked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42886) - you deserved it (8089) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43838) - you deserved it (10693)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56224) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51655) - you deserved it (6317)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (5467)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55791) - you deserved it (5036)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62276) - you deserved it (5908)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2081)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

#20029882
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (4841)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)



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