Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MaximumBeat

Offline (the 05/22/2015 at 3:40pm) | Search for a member

MaximumBeat

8Fucked!

MaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>gagealexander</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:07am<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:43pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:31am<b>nana_star</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:13pm<b>jojo8902</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:31am<b>jbach0220</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:36pm<b>gamergirlll360</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:54am<b>RockyG92</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 5:43am<b>marulicko</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:47pm<b>M1K3nN1K3</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:58am<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:14pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:18pm<b>Daevas</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:35pm<b>tanishpradhan</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:39pm<b>agk1999</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:32pm<b>majorwizkid</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:30pm

Fucked!<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:23pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:46am<b>Cape9093</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:28am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (18929)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (6575)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71) - you deserved it (4607)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (19596)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (7162)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (3167)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (4117)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48904) - you deserved it (6820)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45438) - you deserved it (5927)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (9423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54853) - you deserved it (3690)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52609) - you deserved it (5226)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (3276)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you deserved it (5134)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: