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MaximumBeat

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MaximumBeat

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:59am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:24am<b>animalover9</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:14pm<b>maggieisbatman</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:45pm<b>oh_marie_me</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 11:22am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:56pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:53am<b>HanselF</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Keattles</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 10:01am

Liked!<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

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MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (5053)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (5196)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you deserved it (8294) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (3629)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49490) - you deserved it (4835)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37743) - you deserved it (3258)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (4949)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

#21080041
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (8487)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (7866) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (10358)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55292) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51397) - you deserved it (6295)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55517) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)



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