Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MaximumBeat

Offline (the 02/05/2016 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

MaximumBeat

10Fucked!

MaximumBeat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 July 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1223
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaximumBeat : I'm a time-traveler.

MaximumBeat's page activity

Visits<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:41pm<b>JMCJester69</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:18am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:23am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:24am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:19pm<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:10pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:39pm<b>liamb1222</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:10pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:31pm<b>hotdaddy15</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:16pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:39am<b>BlueHorizons</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:13am<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:25am<b>steeler088</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 1:00am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:35pm<b>ranjiet</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:56pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:45pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:40pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:35pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:15am<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:23pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:46am<b>Cape9093</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:28am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:21am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:24pm

MaximumBeat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of MaximumBeat's badges

MaximumBeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

#21469165
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2774)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (3952)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

#21460295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (20319)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (7137)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (5479)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45280) - you deserved it (20998)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (7515)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (4079)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (4393)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51570) - you deserved it (7163)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47743) - you deserved it (6199)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: