Mattyhernandez

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Mattyhernandez

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 391
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Mattyhernandez : Mostly chill in the bay smoking with my cousins and playing with my retarded pug hit me up if you want i might get back to you

Mattyhernandez's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:39pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:00am<b>jrob2318</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 1:15pm<b>cuppycakeslove</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 2:04am<b>Maren61</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 12:46pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:48pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 5:09pm<b>professeroak</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 10:20am<b>HeartForMusic</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 12:43am

Mattyhernandez's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Mattyhernandez's badges

Mattyhernandez's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

by peestain / 10/25/2010 at 6:06am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

by jacko / 08/15/2010 at 5:47am / Reserved / Work

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

by joAnne / 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

by Cùchulainn / 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm / Love