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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Matty_No9

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Matty_No9
  • Town/Country : South Carolina, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 March 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matty_No9 : FML cracks me up

message me if you must, ill respond to ya

also, if it seems as though i view your profile something short of a billion times it is more than likely due to boredom or i had forgotten your name/picture and remembered it as soon as i visited your profile again lol ;)

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Matty_No9's favorite FMLs

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (20517)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML

#4801141 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (10410)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML

#4062613 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (36724) - you deserved it (12656)

On 07/26/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by omgwtfsam (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

#3581512 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (61305) - you deserved it (10730)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (91571) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64281) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (16266)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)