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Matthewhurley

Offline (the 10/07/2014 at 2:22am) | Search for a member

Matthewhurley

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 184
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Matthewhurley : I play high school baseball and love life and play football

Matthewhurley's page activity

Visits<b>NutellaOmega</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 9:02pm

Matthewhurley's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of Matthewhurley's badges

Matthewhurley's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61356) - you deserved it (14099)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51927) - you deserved it (19001)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50372) - you deserved it (5725)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48142) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40621) - you deserved it (4733)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (2959)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47470) - you deserved it (5885)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (13596)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48172) - you deserved it (10143)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (3930)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States



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