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Offline (the 09/30/2016 at 9:24pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2951
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matthew86 : I finally have managed to get my password reset so that I can comment on this app....Woo Hoo!!

Matthew86's page activity

Visits<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 2:06am<b>Lorex</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 12:30pm<b>Rarepepes</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 10:27am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:13pm<b>t</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:35am<b>sadpanda888</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 1:45pm<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:07pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:09am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:55am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:49am<b>JadeClifford</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:30pm<b>erla</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:49am<b>mds9986</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:22am<b>pataplop</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Nitwit_Nitni</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:41pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:01pm<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:58am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:01am

Fucked!<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:51am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:23am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>woahwhatchild</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 11:10pm

Matthew86's FML badges

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Matthew86's favorite FMLs

Today, I was showing my crush/co-worker how to operate a particular piece of machinery. She exclaimed out loud, "Oh! This knob pulls out," then mumbled under her breath, "unlike my boyfriend." FML

by nicetoknow / 09/26/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

by ANON / 09/21/2016 at 10:09am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

by grossed out / 09/21/2016 at 5:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm jobless and picked up transcription work online. I typed furiously all day. I have made a grand total of $2.06. FML

by Whybother / 09/20/2016 at 4:13am / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML

by T3kM4n / 09/20/2016 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, after evicting my roommate for excessively not abiding by the lease agreements, he thought he could get back at me by sending me a video of my sister giving him head. FML

by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML

by Jaided_Genetics / 08/17/2016 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I've owned my dream car for 11 days. Someone backed into it while it parked at work, and drove away without leaving a note. A man at a nearby business knows who did it but won't tell me because it was one of his customers. FML

by icefly / 07/29/2016 at 11:39am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:45am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

by Mel / 10/05/2015 at 12:21am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

Today, my married life pretty much consists of punching myself in the penis until my libido goes down, since my wife has physical ailments that prevent her from even wanting to have sex. FML

by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.