About Matthew86 : I finally have managed to get my password reset so that I can comment on this app....Woo Hoo!!
Matthew86's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Matthew86's favorite FMLs
by ncbb5 / 11/04/2015 at 1:57pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:45am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML
by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML
by Mel / 10/05/2015 at 12:21am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health
by FacePalmPower / 10/03/2015 at 6:59pm / United States / Animals
by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by KindaLooksLikeCocaine / 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML
by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML
by lentkaysi / 09/10/2015 at 6:55pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML
by ShayShay48 / 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…