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Matthew86

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Matthew86

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 805
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matthew86 : I finally have managed to get my password reset so that I can comment on this app....Woo Hoo!!

Matthew86's page activity

Visits<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:10pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:26am<b>Chibi_Kitten</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:52am<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:05am<b>kalwalls</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:34am<b>TheGewt</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:24am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:49am<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:45am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Nexoux</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:56pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:39pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:33am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:51am<b>Rainb0wdash9</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:43pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:49pm<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:49pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:34am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:07am

Matthew86's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

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Matthew86's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28003) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37074) - you deserved it (4560)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (7541)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (3840)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49971) - you deserved it (7839)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

#21192141
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (5787)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46949) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (64330)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62626) - you deserved it (8503)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41946) - you deserved it (4474)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (3360)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)



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