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Matthew86

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Matthew86

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matthew86 : I finally have managed to get my password reset so that I can comment on this app....Woo Hoo!!

Matthew86's page activity

Visits<b>alaillama</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:55pm<b>LoveLamp</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:19am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Jonkbaby</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:21am<b>lampshade93</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:01pm<b>e_is_for_eli</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 10:32am<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:28pm<b>Pepe488</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:09am<b>IndridCold</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:41am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:23pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:29pm<b>rollonlanding</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 3:03pm<b>sparkles87</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:50pm<b>RainEliseWolf</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 2:42pm<b>ChristineK</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:08am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:26pm

Fucked!<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:23am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>woahwhatchild</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 11:10pm

Matthew86's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Matthew86's badges

Matthew86's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3975) - you deserved it (286)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

#21425895
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/14/2015 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34376) - you deserved it (4510)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (4564)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (2497)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183) - you deserved it (6009)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (2009)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37098) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (4528)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (2487)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (2425)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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