Matt_192

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Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 1:27am)

Matt_192

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20340
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matt_192 : My names Matt... I'm a Chemical Engineering major at Texas Southern University. I like to draw, do photography, write music, play the trombone and piano, and occasionally try (and fail at) poetry. I enjoy long walks on the beach, taking in the sights and sounds of the dirty water in Galveston, and making small children cry with my horrible singing. Also, I'm a chemistry nerd and I love to learn new things. Oh, and I'm awesome :P

P.S. Conformity is for losers. Be yourself.

Matt_192's page activity

Visits<b>saidoh</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:11pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:57am<b>Zeuszara</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:06am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:36pm<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:08pm<b>Tayv412</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 2:56pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:32am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 1:22pm<b>killerpenguin4</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 2:00am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:31pm<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 2:39am<b>PHATERTL</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:06pm<b>moldypeaches</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 3:07am<b>paoloescu</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 3:16pm<b>katieflowers77</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:45am<b>Sonfang</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 9:38am

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Matt_192's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

by SODbeatlesMCRlp / 11/19/2010 at 11:54am / United States / Health

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

by n0taplumber / 11/15/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

by grlzze444 / 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

by Username / 11/12/2010 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

by khaelian / 11/10/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

by ashbox233 / 11/08/2010 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love