MattRoseen

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MattRoseen

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3931
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MattRoseen's page activity

Visits<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 8:13am<b>ikeb</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:54pm<b>udaykataria</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:13am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:45am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:24pm<b>Robin612</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:30am<b>slippy327</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:37am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:54am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 8:37am<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:22am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Bruins4Life</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am<b>JustScrollingBy</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:02pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:17pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:45pm

MattRoseen's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of MattRoseen's badges

MattRoseen's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

by solyana vr1 / 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

by kittens go meow / 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

by Reliena / 01/21/2012 at 12:47am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

by lifesucksbigtimefuys / 12/04/2011 at 3:36am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love